Recent Articles

WA Women's Masters Teams for 2024 Announced

Thank you to all the players who have nominated for this year’s WA master’s teams to compete in the Nationals in Sydney in June/July 2024. Also, a big thank you for all the selectors and OFT for your commitment and efforts getting the teams selected. We appreciate everything you do for Masters.

Unfortunately, we didn’t manage to get sufficient nominations for a WA O45s or O65s teams. However, we have worked closely together with the coaches and selection panels to select as many O45s and O65s players into other WA teams.

For those players who missed out on selections, if you are still interested to compete in this year’s Nationals, we are happy to place you on the WA Pick Up list, for you to be selected in other State teams. If keen, please email me (Jill.vanduuren@bigpond.com) and Gail Anderson (gail-anderson10@hotmail.com ).

Congratulations to the following players selected in our WA Women’s Masters Teams:

WA WO34

Jacinta Amundsen

Maxine Christie

Harriet Collins

Adrienne Devine

Dee Garstone

Nicole Geary

Amy Harken (GK)

Shona Haynes

Emily Hegney

Melissa Luff

Tiffani Makharti

Jodie Mellor

Jenine Piper

Rebecca Saville

Fleur Trewick (O'Neil)

Sune van der Linde

Train on- Clare van den Berg (GK)

 

WA WO40

Prue Blaine

Anna Cook

Dale Cronje

Stacey Hamilton

Terri Herbert

Charlotte Hogarth (GK)

Lucy Morris

Johanna Muntz

Jodi Nield

Hayley Patton

Bronwyn Poustie

Rachel Sherborne

Tanya Storer

Elizabeth Stratton

Leisha Tatham

Tahryn Trevenen

 

WA WO50

Tanya Butler

Lyndsay Daw (GK)

Sinead French-Bluhm

Lisa Hando

Nicole Ilich

Dirranie Kirby (GK)

Bernie Landels

Rebecca McGinn

Karen Richards

Kellie Sadler

Anita Scott

Marianne Tanna

Donna Treloar

Katy Vipond

Sarah Wiese

Natasha Woodhouse

Sarah Zappelli

 

WA WO55

Sally Barrett

Suzanne Bowyer

Samantha Cameron

Megan Caporn

Glenys Chinnery (GK)

Michele Clement

Julie DeSilva

Robyn Himbeck

Lisa Hodge

Vicki McAllister

Ellie Munt

Kelli Reilly

Jean-Marie Rudd

Anna Taylor

Julie Waddell

Claire Wright

 Emergency: Tammy Cowan

 

WA WO60

Judy Bailiff

Marjorie Boultbee

Karen Bussell

Pippa Button

Kim Chandler

Anita Duckworth

Gaye Edwards

Marie Fulbert-Hadet (GK)

Helen Guinness

Ingrid Matthews

Alison McVee

Kelley Robinson

Helen    Rule

Suzanne Stoate

Clark Susan

Pearl Watene

Emergency: Judy Hawrylak

 

WA WO70

Karen Allan

Gail Anderson

Janice Arcus

Betty Bryant

Judy Collier

Alma Davies

Raelene Dunn

Susan Gallinagh (GK)

Carol Haynes

Kerry Hood

Maris Margetts

Janese McDougall

Margaret McIlwraith

Glenda Rigby

Jill Sheehan

Ricky Whelan

Train on: Delys Palmer

 

Good luck to all the WA Teams in Sydney this year!!

 

 

 

WA Women's OFT 2024 Announced

Congratulations to the following OFT selected for the WA Women's Masters Teams to compete in the Masters Nationals in Sydney 2024:

 

Coach WO34                    Allison Rieck

Manager WO34                Tania Dickson

Medical WO34                  Patrick Renner

Coach WO40                    Tammy Cowan

Manager WO40                Cheryl Poustie

Coach WO45                    Temeka Curley

Manager WO45                Dee Middlemiss

Coach WO50                   Charlene Miller

Manager WO50                Lyn Piper

Coach WO55                    Elisabeth Parrick

Manager WO55                Pat Scott

Coach WO60                    Jo Sgro

Manager WO60                Cherryl Pages-Oliver

Coach WO65                    TBC

Manager WO65                Donna Treloar

Coach WO70                    Coleen Dayman

Manager WO70                Colleen Bentley

We are very close in securing selected OFT for the 2 vacant positions (O55s and O65s coach) but if you or someone you know is interested, please complete the nomination form available on the website and send to Jill.vanduuren@bigpond.com asap as we would like to finalize positions this or next week.

 

Men's Player Nominations for 2025 Trans Tasman Reopened

A decision has been made to reopen men’s player nominations for Australian teams for the 2025 Trans Tasman event to be held in the Eastern States of Australia in April/May 2025 due to an apparent issue with communication. 

The nominations are open now and will close at 11pm AEST on Thursday 27 June.  This will absolutely be the final opportunity for any Men’s players to nominate.  Note that Women’s nominations remain closed, except for any additional nominations for players called in late (after 3 June) to teams.  Please inform your Men’s players as soon as possible as renewal of revsport membership with HAMC as per below is a requirement prior to nominating.

In 2024 there is a variation to the Selection Policy for the 2025 Trans Tasman event.  A squad of players in each age group will be selected in accordance with the HAMC Selection Policy current at the date of the 2024 Hockey Australia Masters Championships. 2024 World Cup players who have nominated for 2025 Trans Tasman Selection will also be included in the squad.  Final team selections will be made from the named squad in late November/early December after World Cup events are complete.

The Player Nomination form is to be completed by athletes who are competing in one of the selection events i.e. 2024 Masters Championships or 2024 World Cup. 

A fee of $66 (incl. GST) is to be paid at the time of nomination and is non refundable. All athletes must be eligible to represent Australia at the Trans Tasman Event in 2025 as per ‘Player Eligibility’ in the HAMC Selection Policy.  

PLAYER NOMINATION FORM:

If any difficulties are experienced, please email Brad Galgon – admin.teams@hamc.org.au.  (I will not be available after Monday 5pm).
https://www.revolutionise.com.au/hamasters/events/237571/

After renewing membership, the nomination form can be completed.  All nominating players will receive a receipt for their nomination and will have to pay the fee of $66 plus processing fee.

EVENT BRIEF:
Event Brief – 2025 Trans Tasman Masters Challenge.pdf

Thank you in advance for your help in sharing this information throughout your hockey networks.  This information will also be shared on our facebook, Instagram and webpage noticeboard as soon as possible.

We appreciate your continued support of Hockey Australia Masters.

Kind regards

Gail

 

WA Men’s Masters Teams for 2024 Announced

Thank you to all the players who have nominated for this year’s WA master’s teams to compete in the Nationals in Hobart in July 2024. Also, a big thank you for all the selectors and OFT for your commitment and efforts getting the teams selected. We appreciate everything you do for Masters.

Unfortunately, we didn’t manage to get sufficient nominations for WA O34s, O40s, O45s, O55s, O65s or O80s teams. However, we have worked closely together with the coaches and selection panels to select as many of these players into other WA teams.

Congratulations to the following players and OFT selected in our WA Men’s Masters Teams:

Men's HA Masters Championships - Change of Dates

Hockey Australia Masters has confirmed changes to the dates of the Men's National Championships in Hobart in July 2024.

2024 Hockey Australia Men’s Masters Championships dates and venue have been reviewed and confirmed dates for Hobart, Tasmania in July will be as follows: 

Venue:  Tasmanian Hockey Centre, Hobart

Dates:   Friday 12 July until Saturday 27 July 2024 

Competitions will be conducted in two Tournaments to ensure shorter commitment dates for the 34-50 Men.

  • Tournament 2 34+ to 50+ Men:  Friday 12 July – Saturday 20 July 2024
  • Tournament 3 55+ to 65+ Men:  Tuesday 16 July* – Saturday 27 July 2024  (*There will be a staggered start to Tournament 3.  Teams will commence between 16 and 19 July).

                                  70/75+**   Men:   Sunday 14 July – Saturday 27 July 2024   **MA Men’s Masters Delegates have advised that no 80+ Men’s competition will go ahead in 2024.

 The HA Women’s Masters Championships, Tournament 1, remains Friday 28 June – Saturday 6 July 2024 in Sydney, NSW.

WA Over 50's - 2015 Match Reports

 


WA vs VIC - Wednesday, September 30, 2015, Reef Pitch at 12:45pm


Freshly dubbed the “Old Farts” during a practice match against Lions, who were barely able to shave (and whom we defeated 3-2), we hobbled, wheeled and wheezed our way onto the ominously named “Reef Pitch”. Head geriatric and coach Kevin “Polka Dot” Knapp distributed last minute charts detailing positions, rotations, set plays and statistics, which those in Ward 2, the Getaway-On-Grafton Alzheimer’s Unit, immediately mistook for a plan of the fire exits, a list of the specials at Chemist Warehouse, the Mumbai guide to taxi driving, and an authentic treasure map purloined from the set of Pirates of the Caribbean XXIII: Barnaby’s Revenge.

Captain Matthew “Socks ‘n’ Crocs” Jones, on a day release from Fitzroy Island Retirement Village, scuttled around long enough in the centre of his fuzzy universe to receive passes on numerous occasions, sometimes from us and more often from the opposition. 

Mike “MIA” Hallam was conspicuous for his presence, unlike two days earlier when he managed to dematerialise on Green Island. 

Gavin “The 50 year old virgin” Parker caught the eyes of the blue rinse set (those who had recently survived cataract surgery and had paused to look up from reading 50 Shades of Grey), with his mane of silver locks and retro Olivia Newton-John gold headband. 

The opening half saw us pummel the Victorian defence. Long balls, short passes, scoops, jinks and deflections all made their way through a maze of legs, knee braces, walking canes and zimmer frames, only to emerge harmlessly beyond the attacking baseline. Several times the ball did trickle into the goals, but we were cheerfully informed by a gentleman in a lemon and lime flavoured top that we would need to score our goals at the other end of the pitch during the second half. The decisions were graciously accepted, but we were given further opportunities to demonstrate our bygone era, non-Kyrgios, tongue-biting techniques after “Medicare Frequent Flyer” Brian Saxby and the 50 year old virgin were separately involved in machete attacks to the backs of their legs while choosing into which corner of the goal they would put their shots. Neither were awarded penalty strokes and no cards were issued, despite the common perpetrator taking a guilty glance over at the naughty seat. Even Polka Dot reacted mildly when he was sent off for two minutes for allowing himself to be thumped from behind during general play. 

Half-time allowed the psychologists in the team to work their magic and we emerged calmer and more controlled. Quickly catching up with the local, leathery cougars, Darran “Sunburn” Wilson, fresh from his private solarium, became influential down the left. Russell “Vaseline” Rieck looked dangerous and was therefore left alone in the corner. Peter Chisolm rattled around the forward line like a packet of tic-tacs. Even the tropical weather loosened Michael “Splinter” Bilney’s arthritis enough for him to stroll up from fullback, past the aging midfield, and into the scoring zone. Like Tic-Tac in rehab, however, he was also unable to score. 

Eventually a string of deft touches led to the Frequent Flyer standing alone on the goal-line with the ball at his feet and no Victorians close enough to violate him. From the dim past a foggy memory came forth and he tapped the ball across the line for our first. Our second arrived soon after we abandoned the short corner battery - 125 attempts without success had probably been enough – and let the ball through to Colin “Disco” Tyler who was quietly trying to figure out how John Travolta had got back to his feet so quickly after dropping to his knees in that film with the colourful flashing dance-floor and awesome white suits. Disco, whose reverie had been rudely interrupted, swiped the ball away and it fortuitously rolled in the vicinity of the goals where Sunburn deflected a winner. 

Having realised the mistake of involving Disco in anything near either goal, and collectively suffering from short term memory loss, we reverted to our straight-hit short corner for our last hurrah. It remarkably rocketed off the stick of the 50 year old virgin and cracked in to the backboard.  

At 3-0 we called it a day, pleased that there had been no incontinence at the rear with Peter Connolly and his “Leaky” pads. 

Result: WA 3 – VIC 0 

Goal scorers: B. Saxby, D. Wilson, G. Parker 
Best player as voted by VIC: M. Jones 
Best player as voted by WA : to be announced at the end of the tournament 
Cards: K. Knapp (Green)


WA vs WAC - Friday, October 2, 2015, Rainforest Pitch


From the Rainforest Pitch in balmy Cairns, between 5pm and 6.20pm on a Friday, passenger jet and plane aficionados can direct their eyes skywards four times during each half of old farts’ hockey. 
According to goalkeeper “Leaky” Peter Connolly, the highlight is the 5.30pm Qantas flight to Townsville. What makes it statistically interesting is that it is actually operated by Sunstate Airlines on behalf of Qantas. Even more fascinating, while the other Qantas flights and one lone Virgin flight during the period in question are on Boeing 737-800s, and the Jetstar and Tiger Air flights are on Airbus 320s, the Brisbane based Sunstate Airlines uses a De Havilland (Bombardier) DHC-8-400 Dash 8Q. For the uninitiated this is a turbo prop airliner rather than a jet – clearly worth maximum points for the avid analyst. 

According to Leaky, the first De Havilland Dash 8 was put in to service by Sunstate in February 1992. Its entire fleet now consists solely of 31 gorgeous Dash 8 aircraft. From underneath, with the wheels yet to be safely tucked away, the view of the craft reminds Leaky of a sleek box formation short corner defence, with two runners streaming out from either side of the solid central fuselage. 

During our game against our country cousins, the reminder that a hockey match was in progress arrived at just the right moment. Leaky was forced to pause his plane spotting and make his first saves of the tournament – two in the one skirmish. 

The soporific slumber of the remainder of the team was broken when Gavin Parker “The 50 year old virgin” , battered a short corner hit through an impotent post-man and into the goals for our belated first. This was soon followed by a stunning, optimistic run from Tim “The Enchanter” Reynolds. He weaved his magic through right wing before waving his wand at a hovering ball on his reverse to draw a freakish save from the country goalkeeper. Peter “Tic-Tac” Chisholm however, all guns blazing, jumped on to the rebound to give us a 2-0 lead. 

Further reward for our increased tempo and improved skill execution was to come before the break. One of our many, possibly unintended short corner variations found its way to the wrong side of goalie and then the last defenders foot. Today’s umpire, warming to the notion of keeping the spectators entertained, awarded us a penalty stroke, which Darran “Sunburn” Wilson calmly slotted before the custodian had realised it was his job to try and keep it out. 

In the second stage of play, we had our backs to the Cairns International Airport, which forced our defenders up to the field so they could be heard by the forwards over the roar of the Boeing 737-800s to Sydney. (For those keeping records, the first was a Qantas flight and the second, a mere five minutes later, was operated by Virgin). Carnivorous Craig Trott, who rates highest in the team on the all important stat-sheet for ordering a steak at a vegetarian Indian restaurant, continued his domination at the not-so-far back. Flank halves Greg “Gross” Ross and Rob “Stealth” Behets became so noticeable in attack that they challenged the 50 year old virgin for the attention of the 50 Shades of Grey club. The virgin’s nose was put so far out of joint that it was his calf that required icing at the end of the match. This was one of two injury concerns with Mike MIA Hallam losing his bearings after a head clash. Later, as social coordinator, he was putting us on a space ship to Kuranda to dance with the hippies. The rest of us knew this wasn’t happening until Monday. 

Mark “Apps” Arnold, having made a pest of himself in the first half, capped a solid evening’s work by being sternly admonished by the opposition goalie for getting in the way as Matthew “Socks & Crocks” Jones slotted a short corner variation that was most likely another happy accident. Had coach Kevin “Vodka” Knapp been on the special jellies during his time on the bench? Only this could explain a deliberate call for Socks & Crocks to be on the end of a potential goal scoring move. 

The final productive attack came from a long pass out of left field that found Russell “Vaseline” Rieck unmarked on the 25. He stormed in to the scoring zone, lined up the right corner of the goals, throwing the goalkeeper off balance, and then whipped the ball across to the left corner where it thudded in to the back corner for the sweetest of sounds – apart from the delectable growl of the 6.20pm Jetstar Airbus A320 to Melbourne. 

(Note: One last telling statistic, Bruce “Squizzy” Taylor had zero fresh air shots while stumbling backwards during the match.) 

Result: WA 5 – WAC 0 

Goals: G. Parker, P. Chisholm, D. Wilson, M. Jones, R. Rieck 
Best (voted by WA ): to be announced at the end of the tournament 
Best (voted by WAC): M. Jones 


WA vs NSW - Sunday, October 4, 2015, Reef Pitch at 11:30am


The previous day saw the other great Australian sporting team win its third premiership in as many years. The challenge had now been set: would we be able to three-peat like the mighty Hawks? Having won the title in Sydney in 2013, and having gone back-to-back in Perth in 2014, we were keen to gather momentum for our Cairns 2015 campaign by continuing our recent dominance over the men in blue. 

Leaky Connolly, solid and slightly unorthodox (a nice way of saying a bit weird) at the back, just like the Hawk’s Brian Lake, looked impressive during the warm-up. It was no fault of his, though, that he didn’t get to touch the ball for the second time in three matches. Would Splinter Bilney, our own tough James Frawley, and Carnivore Trott, a raking defender in the Grant Birchall style, have to let a few forwards by in future matches to ensure Leaky could impress the Aussie selectors with more than his range of pre-breakfast stretches? While the man splits might excite our manager Plug Connolly, the grooming and deportment expert of our team, Parker the 50 year old virgin, assures us that Leaky rates only marginally higher than “Socks ‘n’ Crocs” Jones on the crucial team stat sheet for sartorial splendour. At least Socks ‘n’ Crocs has been occasionally involved in the play, marshalling the troops like Luke Hodge from the Hawthorn midfield. 

Leading the charge of the little people in yellow, coach Kevin “The Minion” Knapp, not dissimilar to hard taskmaster Alastair Clarkson, designed the cunning plan to dismantle New South Wales. We executed the plan with the same ruthlessness that the boys in brown and gold demolished the insipid Eagles. 

Gross Ross, tall and unassuming, like Ben Stratton on a half back flank, mirrored the efforts of Stealth Behets, who destroyed every NSW attack while looking like an advertisement for men’s cologne, much in the vein of Josh Gibson, Hawthorn’s noted spoiler, clothes horse and jet-setter. 

The silky Shaun Burgoyne skill set of Sunburn Wilson, combined with the Jordan Lewis hard-headedness of MIA Hallam (miraculously recovered from concussion), created nightmares for the opposing midfield. Their job was made easier, though, by the mosquito fleet of hungry forwards: Tic-Tac Chisholm, Apps Arnold and Squizzy Taylor. Tic-Tac bobbed up everywhere, like the equally annoying Paul Puopolo. Apps was more will-of-the-wisp, Luke Breust style, while Squizzy did a magnificent Liam Shiels type job, suffocating any move attempted by an opponent. Apps was rewarded with a first half goal when his tomahawk pass across the “D” to the invisible man was tapped in by a NSW defender. Tic-Tac was being served by the Cyril Rioli of the team, Medicare Saxby, who created opportunities out of nothing, and by our big Jarryd Roughead forward, Tim “The Enchanter” Reynolds. The Enchanter robbed a sloppy halfback to set the wheels in motion for Tic-Tac to score. 

In the second half, Disco put his Isaac Smith running shoes on and linked with the Jack Gunston of the forward line, Vaseline Rieck. Several quick interchanges between the room-mates drew NSW to the right before switches to the centre found Socks ‘n’ Crocs, Kevin the Minion and the 50 year old virgin (whose uncanny resemblance to Ryan Schoenmakers suggests that the young bombshell could be his love child) in dangerous positions. We weren’t rewarded on the scoreboard, but one WAG later commented that we almost looked like we knew what we were doing. 

Our third and final goal eventually materialised when Kevin the Minion, as minions are wont to do, partied his way to the left of the corner hitter and slotted the ball gleefully into the net. He coached like Clarko, but finished like Sam Mitchell – who must have also gone close to winning the Norm Smith for his no-nonsense demolition of the barely noticeable Eagles midfield. 

Three-peat? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but the omens are promising. 

Result: WA 3 – NSW 0 

Goal scorers: M. Arnold, P. Chisholm, K. Knapp 
WA best as voted by NSW: M. Jones 
WA best as voted by WA : to be announced at the end of the tournament 
Cards: Nil


WA vs SA - Tuesday, October 6, 2015, Rainforest Pitch


Good morning Bill, and welcome viewers to a marvellous day here at the Rainforest Pitch. Showers are forecast later in the afternoon but we are expecting a full day’s play. The pitch is a belter despite being in to its 11th day. It should remain hard and bouncy, with only minor signs of wear around the keeper’s footmarks. 

Yes, thank you, Richie. SA have won the toss and chosen to take the ball. They’ll be opening from the sniffer dog end, with their quicks likely to start wide and target the leg-side. 

Splinter Bilney and Carnivore Trott fend off the opening deliveries, playing back and across defensively. It’s a hostile start and SA seem to be deliberately employing a short attack. No doubt WA will be calling on Stealth Behets to steady the ship if Splinter and Carnivore are beaten early. 

Of course, Bill, I expect sunburn Wilson will need to temper his cavalier attitude, too. It’s a hot one today, so I hope he has applied plenty of sunscreen. Someone will need to spend a long time in the centre. WA can’t keep relying on “Socks ‘n’ Crocs” Jones to hold things together. He’s been in excellent form but opponents are working out how to stem his flow of runs. Perhaps Hallam, who has been missing in action recently, can bolster the middle order. 

Look at that zip off the pitch, Richie. Judas Rogers, playing against his old team, nipped one through the gap, but it’s just gone wide. Leaky Connolly, who hasn’t done much keeping of late, will need to be on his toes. 

It was an interesting delivery, Bill, fading to the left, but Judas was a yard quicker when wearing the black and gold and his line was more direct. 

The opportunities to score are increasing as SA becomes a little loose, giving WA more width. Squizzy Taylor, fresh from rehab should be able to thrive if this keeps up. 

Agreed, Richie, but Squizzy has spent too long in rehab and I know he has copped some flack from his team-mates. I’ve seen the pictures and they are not pretty. 

Out! Out! He’s walking. What a catch! Phantom “the ghost who walks” Ross is out after a spectacular one-handed grab. That is better than Ben Stokes’ effort in the one-dayers when Mitchell Starc hurled the ball at him. What was Phantom thinking? Good morning Chappelli. What do you think was going through his head? 

Probably not a lot, thanks Bill. It was one of the stranger dismissals I’ve seen in this series. He’ll need to sit down and have a think about what I’m sure will be a costly mistake. 

Oh dear. It’s all happening. SA have pushed Tim “The Enchanter” on to the back foot and one has gone straight through. Even Leaky failed to get anything on it as it sizzled passed his despairing lunge to the right. SA’s no-nonsense veteran has taken one from one. We’ll be back shortly after the break. 

Good morning, Tubby. You wouldn’t look out of place with this lot, today. 

Hello viewers. Good morning, Heals. Yes, I think I’ve got that Judas fellow covered. I’d normally be happy to take on Saxby, too, who does a lot of promotional work for Medicare, but he must be receiving some special treatment after hours because he’s looking good. 

I’ve heard the WAGS have arrived, Tubby. Do you think that’s why he’s smiling? 

Now, now Heals. That’s not a smile; it’s a grimace. I believe the team has put him on a strict diet. He’s had a recent dose of the Trotts, and the runs are still flowing intermittently, but he’s looking quite composed. 

Here’s a chance, Tubby. What a strike. Parks, the 50 year old virgin, has clubbed one straight. It’s crashed in to the boards. That’s put the game back on an even keel. 

What’s happening here, Heals? The umpire has had to step in to regain order. Perhaps he should have intervened sooner. That’s gotten really ugly. Green Lantern Knapp is involved again and I’m not surprised. He’s not happy about being given his marching orders but he has got to go. 

He’s entitled to hold his line while making a quick run. 

Maybe Chappelli. What do you think, Slats? 

The game has changed since the seventies. Mind you, Socks ‘n’ Crocs could have stepped straight off the set of Magnum PI. Give him a Disco moustache and he’s a dead ringer for Tom Selleck. 

Dear-oh-dear. I’m not sure if that is one of the bravest or most stupid acts I’ve seen on a field. Tic-Tac Chisholm has shuffled right in front of a nasty swinging delivery. He’s got a bit of wood on it, but I’d say he has been collected. Yes, there is definitely claret streaming profusely from his forearm. He’s coming off and that is going to need stitches. 

What appeared so promising prior to the start of play has ended in a disappointing draw. Let’s hope tomorrow’s one-dayer against QLD gives spectators something to cheer about. Until then, it’s goodbye from the commentary team. 

Result: WA 1 - SA 1 

Goals: G. Parker 
Cards: G. Ross (yellow), K. Knapp (green) 
Best WA player as voted by SA: R. Behets 


WA vs QLD - Wednesday, October 7, 2015, Reef Pitch


It’s late. I’m tired. The previous match reports have been too long. This one will be brief. Maybe. 

Medicare Saxby smashed one into the goalie’s face and then tapped in the easy rebound while the custodian was still dizzy. 

Parks, the 50 year old virgin, crunched a straight hit from a corner. He hobbled off with a knot in his hamstring soon after. 

We let them score a field goal. For once, Leaky Connolly didn’t rescue us by pulling off a miraculous save. 

The umpire stuck his foot out to trap a rebound from the QLD keeper. Vaseline Rieck was on hand to tap in the goal. 

Wildy was on the receiving end of 35 perfectly executed passes. He walked his goal gratefully across the line. 

QLD hit a short corner under Leaky’s armpit. He thought he was lying flat on the ground but the pasta from the night before created a bulge and a gap. 

Diskette, Disco’s devoted wife, takes 2000 photographs per match. Disco scored the goal of the tournament – or at least his personal goal of the tournament – and Diskette missed it as she was huddling behind a wall, trying to escape the rain. 

Squizzy threw an effective overhead. It travelled five feet in the air and ten feet in distance. It cleared one player who stood about 4 feet 5 inches tall. Tic-Tac ran to it, collected it and returned to the place 70 metres downfield where he was originally expecting an overhead from Voldemort Knapp, the evil mastermind, who managed to get his green card statistics up to the exceptional rate of 60%. 

Apps attempted to throw an overhead from a sideline hit, too. It cleared half the height and travelled half the distance of Squizzy’s superior toss. Also, it never managed to enter the field of play.  

We finished on top of the ladder after the qualifying rounds. 
The End. 

Manager: Thank you Disco for your amazing match reports. We really appreciate the energy and creativity you put into them, as well as the time sacrificed to grind them out while we are playing in a serious tournament. 

Result: WA 5 - QLD 2 

Goals: B. Saxby, G. Parker, R. Rieck, D. Wilson, C. Tyler 
Cards: K. Knapp (Green) 

Best WA player as voted by QLD: R. Rieck 


Semi-Final WA vs xxx - Friday, October 9, 2015




Result: WA n - xx n 

Best WA player as voted by WA : 
Goal scorers: 
Cards: Nil.


Final WA vs xxx - Saturday, October 10, 2015




Result: WA n – xxx n 

Best WA player as voted by WA : 

Goal scorers: 

Cards: 

WA player of the tournament: