WA Over 65's - 2013 Match Reports

WA vs ACT - Tuesday, September 24, 2013

It's hard to remember when we last came to a Masters State Championships in this particular age band of players when Queensland was not the winning team. Of course some would say that we can't remember very much of anything anyway when we get past sixty-five years old. The 2011 team reached the final, lost, so in true AFL tradition the Coach was sacked. The 2012 team saw Jimmy Banks appointed as the new Coach and Jimmy's vision was to produce the fittest and fastest team of sixty-five year olds that the opposing teams would be chasing all day. There we were, out every Sunday morning doing laps round the oval, sprints up and down the hockey field, skills and drills, you name it we did it. The only problem was that Jimmy forgot that these were aged bodies and one by one players fell by the wayside, hammies, calves, quads, backs, hips, shoulders. By the time we made the final we were down to nine and a half fit players, and held the Queenslanders to a goal with ten minutes to go by which time the legs ran out.  

This year, like Ross Lyon at the Dockers, Bansky is a second year coach and shrewdly figures that the boys will need to start training a month earlier, do more laps, do more sprints, and who said you can 't teach old dogs new tricks. Sunday mornings, and Banksy has us trying tomahawk shots, throwing overheads and practising slap hits which is none too easy when you're training on a grass paddock. Anyway it's all looking pretty good this year as Banksy departs by road for Sydney and there are no major injuries apart from the usual minor niggles here and there. But then there was Hammy d'Souza, last training session completed, takes to the field at the Wednesday afternoon social hockey and gets his shoulder smashed in, tragic, needs his clavicle pinned and plated. With a player down and with only days to go, team mastermind Simon "Thommo" Thomson, who has nothing better to do during the day than Google looking at random websites, happens to come across the law courts roster for the coming month to find that His Honour Bruce Goetze just happens to be on leave with an unallocated Number 6 playing shirt and is ready to jump on the next plane. So, with a full complement, we arrive in Sydney where Banksy finds that not only do we have the Sunday for a practice run, but also we have a lay day on the first Monday which he quickly allocates to a further practice session. We go through our now well rehearsed drills as part of our warm-up, with Jimmy explaining that we are not practising shots on goal like the other teams because 60% of our team won't ever be in the circle during the game to have a shot in the first place and the other 40% are forwards who can't seem to score anyway. He has us up at dawn for the Monday practice session at Pennants Hills reminding us that all the fullbacks in 65's are too fat and too slow whereupon Mr Len Blyth becomes quite uppity on behalf of himself and Jim Balding who is about to open his mouth and say " well, Yes I am" ............ but quickly closes it seeing that Mr B has come into bat for him. Anyway, the point about all this is Banksy is getting us acclimatised to Sydney time for an early morning start in Game one today, of which some mention should be made before it slips into oblivion in the memory bank.  

It's a humid morning as we run through the players tunnel out onto the Olympic stadium turf - the noise from the large crowd of four in the grandstand is ringing in our ears, but then some of us have a bit of that anyway, along with some deafness. We are switched on from the start with Thommo and Heath "Irish" Tyrrell dominating the midfield. No sooner than we are in enemy territory, the ball is switched deftly from left to right through Ken "Red Gull" Walter to Alan "the Sting" Stewart who strikes a bullet inside the right post and the crowd on their feet. Within minutes it's the same duo in action again, with "Red Gull" this time out on the right, pulls the ball back in for Stewie to thread the through ball ball past defenders' legs and in for number two. With Ash "the Flash" Challenor (he of the dodgy knees) creating further headaches for the A.C.T. defence, Terry "Boris" Parker strikes to Kennie outside the left post - he somehow knocks back a bouncing ball towards the spot, the fast closing Graham "Chip" Challenor knocks it forward towards the spreadeagled goalie who tries to bump it away past the right attacking post. And there is Simon Williams diving over the goalies legs to bunt the ball into the net - while it surely was a classic "Lunger" trademark goal, this was really a team goal - in fact Peter "Arch" Andrews assures your scribe that he was also part of the goal and actually started it six passes earlier. But when you're a bear with very little brain you just can't remember that far back. We're three up at quarter time and the same at the main break with Captain Graham "Agro" Sansom calling the lines from the back and repelling the invaders, ably assisted by the unflappable Mr Len Blyth. Bruce "the Judge" Goetze who has been sitting on the bench for an eternity, although not always in the hockey stadium apparently, comes on in the company of Brian "Rowdy" Soares for a cameo run or two. The third and fourth quarters are much like the second with plenty of ball but not converting, typified by Thommo putting a sublimely weighted cross to the right but Lunger's shot rebounding off the upright. So the scoreboard stays at 3 - 0 thanks to Jim Balding, late in the game, making an exquisite late cut to the boundary fence to clear the ball past the defending left post. Three points are in the bag and tomorrow's another day. 

Result: WA 3 – ACT 0 

Goal scorers: Alan Stewart (2), Simon Williams (1) 
Man of the Match: Len Blyth

WA vs NSW - Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Funny things you remember about this wonderful game we play. No longer do we seem to be asked to wade through a water trough as we canter out onto the elite artificial turf hockey pitches at our big stadiums today. Perhaps the officials think we are more likely to have sparklingly clean boots, but not so with the weapons with which we play, in a manner of speaking. The head of our sticks are subjected to close scrutiny and have to fit through a special ring to qualify before we can use them in combat. The task of measurement appears to fall to a female official. But then there are the players who carry a second stick - what about them? - apparently not on the officials radar. And just how much have the sticks changed, Graphite, Kevlar, traction control face, tomahawk hitting zones - no wonder most of us didn't improve much at Jimmy's Sunday training sessions - absolutely nothing to do with player skill, Banksy, obviously all in the stick. Anyway, back to the officials - rumour has it that, on Saturday, we're to be subjected to drug testing - apparently they think our team is too fast for Over 65's and that we must be on the peptides. But, hello ......they haven't factored in Banksy's training sessions. So today we are focused on the game ahead versus our hosts NSW to be played at Cintra Park behind the stadium at Concord Oval, a tougher prospect than game one. NSW win the ball from the opening play and have full back Len under some pressure, with play during the first quarter swinging up and down the ground. But it's not long before our midfielders begin to dominate the play and, as we swing into the second quarter, the ball comes forward to the top of the circle. The blues goalie comes out and Ashley has him under some pressure - the ball falls to the side and the fast-closing Lunger sweeps it up, takes it to the baseline, swivels on a sixpence, and whips the ball back inside to Ash who Flashes the shot home for the opening goal. The West Aussies are controlling the play but, close to the long break, the Blues are awarded a lucky short corner and make the score. With Lunger confined to the dug-out citing a groin strain, Coach Banks pulls his master card and brings his secret weapon,Jim Balding, off the bench into the high striker position. Balding's physical presence alone brings tremors into the minds of the New South Welshman. Banksy's boys are answering all the questions as we get into the second half and win the penalty corner. The secret code is called, the play is made, the ball falls to Stewie, and his Stinger of a strike hits the backboards and we're one ahead. As we get further into the second half, the W.A. defence is trying every trick in the book to dispossess the Blues including resorting to soccer instead of hockey. Not surprisingly this did not go down too well with the field umpire, and a card coloured appropriate to his Irish heritage was duly awarded to Mr Tyrrell. His two minutes penance done, Heath is back, Coach is on for a full ten seconds before he rotates himself off (don't blink or you'll miss him), and the Judge has run his race, duly stuffed having spent the past month as a couch sports spectator. We're into the last quarter and New South are running out of legs. A gap the size of the English Channel opens up as Chip reaches the twenty-five - he fires off the shot like an Exocet missile which flies off the goalie, we're 3 - 1 up and the opposition are smoked. No sooner have the cheers subsided than "RedGull" Ken, who has found himself in a paddock out on the left during the last quarter, lines up a straight shot on goal but fires over the top, so it is still down to Ken to get himself back on the goal-scoring sheet. He does this with a well-taken stroke that is going nowhere near the goal until it accidentally hits a defender and the subsequent deflection completely wrong-foots the goalie. We're three in front and there are high fives back on the bench. New South make a last effort which results in Len joining the soccer team to deftly deflect the ball off the goal-line onto the post, but this does not escape the umpire's eagle eye and the ensuing penalty stroke is converted.  

Match Result: W.A. 4 N.S.W. 2 

Goal Scorers: Ashley Challenor, Alan Stewart, Graham Challenor, Ken Walter 

Man of the Match: Alan Stewart 

WA vs SA - Saturday, September 28, 2013

Yesterday was a long day. Coach Banksy has us up at six for a 7am departure, heading for another practice session somewhere out near the back of Bourke. And, what's more, we're all there, which is all the more remarkable as the likes of Lunger just don't do mornings. Ah, the power of the coach, but then, when you look around, you realise that he is a man of stature, all five foot two of him. He even has a town named after him !!! Today's exercise is practising one-on-one's. Like the Aussie batsmen this Ashes tour showing their optimism by putting on sunscreen cream before heading out to bat, Jimmy's optimism is such that one-on-ones are scheduled to be used only in the grand-final game. The day finishes with dinner at the Port Restaurant next to the Parramatta jetty, and we toast Alan Stewart on achieving the milestone of 68 years with an excellent bottle of Moët, generously donated by the Parramatta ratepayers and unknown to all but one of them, The Lord Mayor. This results in us bubbling with enthusiasm at the prospect of the forthcoming game against South Australia. The wind is gusting down the ground at Olympic Park as the whistle blows. Kenny sets off with the ball and makes a nice pass which the opposition pick off and you have the feeling that they have seen our Ken playing before. The opening term is a scrappy affair with some tight marking and plenty of bumping and shoving, reminiscent of the London tube trains in rush hour. His English heritage having toughened him up for such situations, Lord Simon Thomson uses his tacking skills to win a free hit just outside the centre line out on the right. With closer lay off options available, Thommo spots the gap and rifles a sixty metre pass down to the baseline where Terry "Boris" Parker makes the trap. The beautifully weighted pass angled away from the goalie finds the unmarked Ash "the Flash" Challenor who says thank you very much and we're a goal in front. The game is opening up in the second quarter and from the short corner that we are awarded for reasons that are not entirely clear, the ball comes back to Ashley who sweeps at goal from outside the left post with the goalie eliminated, only for it to hit the foot of South Aussie defender, Macca. Flash Ash heads for the spot and calmly slots the goal to put us two in front. Back on the bench, Banksy makes the rotations, giving himself the usual ten seconds, then brings Lunger onto the left wing and drags him after two minutes before he has time to re-injure his groin muscle strain. Arch is doing some good work down the right flank, backed up by the Judge, a through ball finds Kenny in space at the top of the circle, and with only the goalie to beat, "RedGull" makes a dog's breakfast of it all to the chagrin of Brian "Rowdy" Soares who might have got on the scoresheet had Kenny noticed him standing unmarked three metres to his left with an open goal before him. So instead of being up by three, it becomes a 2 - 1 scoreboard as the South Aussies catch us napping and score a lucky goal as we head for the long break. The second half becomes a tough battle, heart in the mouth stuff at times as the defence try and escape around the back across goal and nearly pay the price. Captain Graham "Agro" Sansom makes a telling save off the ensuing short corner. Stewarts's tackle back from behind earns him a green card and two minutes off at the umpire's pleasure, Heath and the Judge are unleashing cannon-fire into the circle but there are no lucky deflections, the clock runs down and, after Game 3, we have three wins on the board. 

Match Result: W.A. 2 - S.A. 1 

Goal Scorers : Ashley Challenor (2) 
Man of the Match: Simon Thomson

WA vs WAC - Sunday, September 29, 2013

The highs and lows of sport have once again come to the fore - they say things go in threes.  
The Dockers great run in AFL, culminating in their first grand-final, finally hits the wall.  
The agonies of coming second must be tempered with the knowledge that sixteen teams finished below them.  
And then there's the America's Cup, Kiwis up eight races to one and the Yankees come back from the dead to win. 
Then comes W.A. 65's hockey team, coasting along with three wins out of three, but stumbling against their Country cousins.  
It's hard to become inspired about a losing game which nobody wants to read about at all, so no mention will be made of a soft giveaway goal in the first quarter nor, in the second quarter, of the inability to defend the W.A.Country short corner goal which, as predicted, is struck inside the right post.  
And no mention will be made of Len's green card for an ugly tackle, or of the forwards inability to finish the many forays into the circle with goals, or of Lunger taking cover on the bench all game claiming ongoing injury - physician, heal thyself !!!  
But Peter Andrews, so who's he? Well, now we know, thanks to the stadium announcer - he's heavily disguised as "Arch" who pops up at the right post after Flash Ash picks up a short corner pass and crosses to the right, and "Arch" (P.A.) makes the score.  
Not only this, but he makes a number of runs and crosses from the right wing in the second half which is sufficient to earn a Best Player award at the culmination of proceedings.  
We presume that our second place finish has nothing whatever to do with Greg "Blacky" Black's debut appearance in this tournament.  
It's back to the drawing board for Coach Banksy and the team strategists. 

Match Result: W.A. 1 - S.A. 2 

Goal Scorers: Peter "Arch" Andrews 1 

Man of the Match: Peter "Arch" Andrews 

WA vs VIC - Tuesday, October 1, 2013

It's the second quarter, the Vic's have the ball around half-way, wide out on the right opposite the dug-outs. Observing from the bench is, most appropriately, the Judge. Coach Banksy is taking counsel from no-one. Manager "Rowdy" Soares is quietly contemplating. Lunger's there too, he's resting. Yes, can you believe it? - he's just had two days off and seems to think that a twenty-five minute run is enough for one day. And then we have the Invisible Man, Jim "Jack Griffin" Balding - yes, he's on the bench too but, in true Wellsian fashion, he seems to be cloaked with a veil all around him. Meanwhile, back to the play - the Vic left-half hits long towards the corner, then follows one defensive stuff-up after another as the ball reaches the Vic left wing and from close to the baseline comes into the circle. For the gallery on the bench the final ignominy in this Comedy of Errors is to see the ball trickling across the goal line. Blackie, playing five different positions, is the jack-of-all-trades and we are not saying any more. Arch comes on too, for his full eleven minutes. The Judge has modest time off the bench but, more than that, your scribe is not permitted to make comment without a solicitor being present. The forwards manage to stuff up every scoring opportunity possible including a fine cross from Stewpot on the left wing, on which Lunger manages to put enough backstick to trap and deflect the ball to a point between the penalty spot and the goal-line. With the goalie eliminated there is a sudden collision of hockey players with Redgull Walter ending up on his back outside the left post and the ball nowhere to be seen in the goalmouth. This is indeed a Tragedy, whether or not in the Shakespearian mold, but it certainly is Much Ado About Nothing.  

Match Result: W.A. 0 - Victoria 1 

Goal Scorers: There weren't any - all useless  
Man of the Match: Simon Thomson 

Simon David's Lament The beauty of W.A. is slain upon thy high places: how are the mighty fallen! Tell it not in Perth, nor publish it in the streets of Fremantle, lest the players from Victoria rejoice. Banksy's battlers were doing lovely and pleasant things in the midfield, and in their death they were not divided: they were swifter than eagles, they were stronger than lions, but they still couldn't get the frigging ball in the net. How are the mighty fallen and the weapons of war perished. (Ref. Samuel 1:19, 1539 - an apology)

WA vs QLD - Thursday, October 3, 2013

On the sixth game they rose again from the dead. And so it was, as Banksy's boys arrive at Olympic Park for the final pool game, with their destiny in their own hands and the prospect of a finish anywhere from second to fifth. As we prepare to leave the changing-room to start the warm-up, the starting eleven is announced with Coach Banks to spearhead the attack.  
Following the earlier hail-storm, the wind and rain have blown in, so Lunger leads the team up the back stairs for the warm-up on the carpeted inside corridor in the adjacent sports stadium. As we take to the field for the pre-match drills in rainy conditions, Coach rotates himself off the starting line-up before the whistle blows to start the game - masterful tactics we think. As we begin the game, half the right side of the pitch is waterlogged and the ball has to be belted through this puddle to avoid it stopping abruptly. Queenslander Keith Chay predictably controls the early play, then throws the overhead pass which he hooks and it ends six rows back in the upper tier of the grandstand. In my day, playing backyard cricket, if you hit the ball over the fence into the neighbour's garden, it would be six and out. The first two quarters are tightly contested affairs, with close marking on both sides. The Maroons win the first of many short corners, but as the game goes on they fail to convert any of the fifteen awarded. Captain Sansom is solid as a rock, and full-backs Balding and Black are repelling all the invaders. In the third term the ball falls to the Judge who passes to Heath "Irish" Tyrrell down the right flank. As Lunger and "Arch" switch positions with some angled running, Heath looks up, sees the opening, fires the cross which is picked up by Archie on the run. His freakish deflection completely wrong-foots the goalie and we are one ahead. Ash, of the dodgy knees, is valiantly trying to run back on his opponent but receives a green card for his troubles and the Queenslanders rebound, eliminating the W.A. defence - the ball falls to Chris O'Dempsey who somehow manages to miss an open goal from three metres without even getting close to the right post. Billie Osborn of The Maroons makes some penetrating runs, there's some great defence for W.A. by Chip and Len, but all this is overshadowed by Thommo's diving effort, stopping the ball on the goal line and preventing a certain goal late in the game. With six minutes left on the clock, Queensland win yet another short corner, the ball is fired in to the right post where it unluckily hits Blackie's foot. The penalty stroke is converted, it's one all and we're consigned to finishing in third place on the ladder. 

Match Result: W.A. 1 - Queensland 1 

Goal Scorers: Peter Andrews Man of the Match: Graham Samson

Semi-Final WA vs WAC - Friday, October 4, 2013

Who wants to read about this match, when your tournament aspirations are buried in the dust. There was certainly nothing special regarding today's game, that's for sure.  
I remember that WAC showed better basic hockey skills than ourselves. I remember Simon "Thommo" Thomson slipping over and injurying his knee, to take no further part in proceedings.  
I remember Captain Graham "Agro" Samson being bowled over over from behind ? rib fracture ?  
I remember a lionhearted effort from all the W.A. players trying to get their side over the line to secure a place in the final to reward Coach Jimmy Banks for all his effort, but coming up short.  
I remember an opponent who might have been red-carded by an observant umpire for some inappropriate physical action far remote from the play - not in the spirit of Masters Hockey - may he go back to the thistles from whence he came. I do not wish to remember anything about the three goals scored by Country - but I do recall a very well taken W.A. short corner, version 1b, with the shot by Stewie to the right post being swept into the goal by that very lucky hockey player Simon "Lunger" Williams. 
We may not have been championship winners but all of us that are still able to run and play this wonderful game are winners. May we all still be running in another year and be able to meet again in Perth in 2014. 

Match Result: W.A. 1 - W.A. Country 3 

Goal Scorers: Simon Williams 

W.A. Player of the Tournament: Simon Thomson 

Players selected to represent Australia at the 2014 Masters World Cup in Holland:- 
70's - Len Blyth 
65's - Simon Thomson, Simon Williams